How Do I Resolve Conflict?
The reason for conflict:
What is the cause of your conflicts and quarrels with each other? Doesn’t the battle begin inside of you as you fight to have your own way and fulfill your own desires? You jealously want what others have so you begin to see yourself as better than others. You scheme with envy and harm. James 4:1-2a TPT
How to resolve conflict...
*ask for help
You don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. James 4:2b NLT
*change your focus
And if you ask, you won’t receive it for you’re asking with corrupt motives,seeking only to fulfill your own selfish desires. James 4:3 TPT
You can't change what's going on around you until you change what's going on inside you.
*become a Jesus follower
But he continues to pour out more and more grace upon us. For it says, God resists you when you are proud but continually pours out grace when you are humble.” So then, surrender to God. Move your heart closer and closer to God, and he will come even closer to you. But make sure you cleanse your life, you sinners, and keep your heart pure and stop doubting. Feel the pain of your sin, be sorrowful and weep! Let your joking around be turned into mourning and your joy into deep humiliation. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor. James 4:6-10 TPT
*establish ground rules
Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. James 4:11 NLT
And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them. Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults. But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love. Ephesians 4:29,31-32 TPT
7 Rules of Engagement:
#1 Be positive
#2 Be specific
#3 Be current
#4 Be attentive
#5 Be courteous
#6 Be considerate
#7 Be honest
*go and make peace
You can't change what's going on around you until you change what's going on inside you.